Blessings in Disguise

I cannot start this post any other way than by telling you about the second best celebration in my life.  The first being my wedding day.  

Cole is my biggest support throughout this journey.  Because of him, the above picture happened!  These are some of my closest friends, my biggest supporters.  The first blessing I write about in this post.

 I'm a tough one to surprise.  Other than the day Cole proposed to me, I don't think I have ever been surprised.  Wednesday night, this group literally scared me when they yelled "Surprise!"  I was on a mission to help a friend and never saw them sitting to my right as I was headed up the stairs.  To this day, I don't know how long it would have taken me to see them had they not yelled "Surprise!"  Seriously!  This celebration was perfect!!!  It was a celebration.  A celebration of friendship, love, and my journey.  There truly aren't enough words to tell them how grateful I am for having them in my life!  I love them so very much!!!  I can't wait to celebrate with them again when this journey has reached the best possible outcome!

The second blessing...Cole visited a shop called Pink Hands of Hope located not too far from where we live.  He had the best conversation with the founder/owner.  It was nice to hear Cole say that he enjoyed having someone to talk to.  This journey isn't just about me.  It's about us and everyone I know and come in contact with.  This cancer is affecting everyone around me.  I cannot wait to go to his shop on Saturday and meet this amazing man!  15 times he has given $1000 to women experiencing breast cancer to help pay their bills!  The things he has done to help so many people!  I love stories like this!  Here's a link to their web page http://pinkhands.org/   and to their Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/PinkHandsOfHope   Please give them a like!  Even better, a visit to their store if you're nearby!

It was nice having several days without having to run all around for tests and scans.  It was even better not having to miss any days of school!  But Thursday, March 19 came and I was headed to the new, less than a year old, West Shore hospital to get my (hopefully purple) port.  We arrived and were checked in quickly.  Tell me this isn't a kick @$$ sign...

Double 0 7!!!  #bondgirl

(Sorry that the pic is on its side.  No matter what I tried, I couldn't get it rotated.)

Shortly after arriving and registrating, I was taken back to room 4 (was hoping for 3, but...) to begin prep work for my port.  Robin, my nurse, was so kind, caring, compassionate, etc.  She is awesome!  Anyone in her care is in the best of hands!  The first task was to have an IV put in.  This has never proven to be a challenge for anyone!  Ever!  And I've had numerous IVs!  They can always get it on the first try.  Patty, God love her, tried in my right arm near the bend in my arm.  Unsuccessful.  She tried my left hand where she wiggled the needle a bit to hopefully get it to go through.  Unsuccessful.  She looked for a better place but chose to not stick me again.  They called the IV team.  I feel bad that I don't remember her name, but the next lady tried my right arm, a couple of inches up from my wrist.  Unsuccessful.  Hmmmmm....  With never have experienced this problem before, I was a bit worried.  She tried the underside of my right arm.  She also wiggled the needle a bit to try to get it to go through.  Unsuccessful.  Only me!!!  She went to my left arm.  Finally got it!!!  But I had to get "stuck" again because I needed blood work and they couldn't even get blood drawn from the other needle sticks. They told me that Cole was permitted to come back at this time, nearly an hour and a half or so after I first went back.  He thought I already had the port put in.  My surgeon for this procedure came in and spoke with me about the procedure.  Cole and I felt that our Bond saga continued as my surgeon introduced himself.  Dr. Pennypacker!  Can't make this up!  Doesn't that just sound like a Bond movie character!?!  

As they wheeled me out of my room to the operating room, I noticed the time.  9:15.  My students were just coming in to my classroom.  Tears...

It took so much more time to set up everything in the operating room than it did to do the actual procedure.  Yes, I was awake for it.  They gave me a very mild sedation.  And lots of warm blankets!  Oh how I love the warm blankets!

I was wheeled back to room 4 at 10:30 feeling very little discomfort.  By the time I was wheeled out in a wheelchair (only because it's mandatory - Ugh!) to the car a little after 12:00, I was feeling the pain.  Since this journey began, this was the worst procedure/worst pain I've had.  I've definitely had worse pain from my past medical condition, but this hurt!  3 Extra Strength Tylenol worked.  Thank goodness!  Another blessing!

Here's a picture of the aftermath.  I took this picture this morning.  

I believe Dr. Pennypacker did an amazing job!  Difficulty seeing the 2 incisions?  The top one is to put a tube into the port.  The bottom incision is where he inserted the port...the PURPLE port!!!  Yes, I got a purple port!!!  I asked the doctor in the OR before he put it in.  No, I wouldn't have asked for a different one if I wasn't getting a purple one.  I would've just been jealous of those that have a purple one.

I awoke this morning at 5:00 knowing that they were calling for bad weather and that I had an EKG scheduled for 7:00.  Thank goodness for a 2 hour delay for school because now I could spend more time getting ready for school after the EKG.  It was tough getting ready, but I am proud to say that I did it all myself!  Even put on and tied my own shoes!  It's the little things!  Last night and this morning, I thought about calling in to reschedule, but feared that I wouldn't be able to get in before my first treatment on Tuesday, which would delay that.

And yet, another blessing...Shortly after arriving, a lady (identity to rename anonymous, but I will never forget her name) came to the waiting room to take me back for my EKG.  On the way back, I told her about having a medi port put in yesterday.  I showed it to her and she said she would be working in that area but would be extremely careful.  I told her that I was diagnosed with breast cancer, thus the reason for the port.  She asked me my name and height.  She tried to ask me my weight, but couldn't get the words out.  She was crying.  I smiled and told her it was okay as I assumed she was upset about my diagnosis or perhaps someone close to her was diagnosed, or...the possibilities for her sadness were endless.  She apologized, gathered herself together as best she could, and proceeded to ask the questions she needed for the EKG.  She continued to be very teary-eyed.  I again reassured her that everything was okay.  She then told me that she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.  Wow!  She said, "You are handling this so much better than I am."  I told her that everyone takes the news so differently.  No cases are the same and you have every right to handle it how you choose.  She looked at my rings and asked if I was married.  I said yes.  She then told me that her husband recently left her.  I was so saddened.  I know it happens.  I know everyone cannot handle it.  And now I knew why I didn't go through with calling to reschedule.  We talked throughout the whole procedure.  We laughed, we got teary-eyed, and we knew we would get through this!  I was put with her for a reason!  Everything happens for a reason!!!  As I exited the building, I thanked God for not allowing me to call to reschedule!  I hope I have provided some inspiration for her.  More importantly, I hope I helped her realize that she is so much stronger than she realizes!  Tears are not a sign of weakness!

I've lost count of the blessings mentioned in this post, but another one surely was a global connect phone call from Mr. Richard W. Fry stating that school was now closed.  God, or Old Man Winter, knew I was going to school today.  I believe they also knew I should be home resting.  So here I sit blogging.  I'm doing report cards next.  My goal is to have them done before my first treatment because I have no idea how I'm going to feel in the days after treatment.  They have to be done and I'm taking advantage of the time.

My first treatment...this coming Tuesday, March 24.  Nearly a month after receiving the call from Dr. Barton telling me that the biopsy revealed cancer.  I've been through a lot these past several weeks.  I know I will be going through so much more in the next several months.  But I'm ready.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, but honestly, I'm so much more ready than scared!  I can't be scared of being healed!  That's an exciting thought, no matter how far away it is!  I know it's coming!  I'm ready for more blessings!!!

During the celebration my friends had for me, I overheard a friend say "It's not fair."  I agree, it's not fair.  This is honestly the first time I have said these words.  I honestly have never once questioned "why".  I know why.  I know that I can handle this, educate as I'm educated, and hopefully provide inspiration for others.  I was only angry for about 10 minutes and this wasn't until after I was told about the third and fourth spots.  I mean this from the bottom of my heart when I say that if it had to be someone, I'm glad it was me.  I'm a strong person and I will continue to take whatever life throws at me.  I'm ready and I will kick its ass!  Shame on cancer for thinking it can mess with me.  And not just me...my husband, my family, my friends...

My continued appreciation for all that everyone is doing for me!  The greatest of these being prayers and love!  A huge shout out to Margaret.  She sent me a wonderful message and told me about a book called The Courage Muscle:  A Chicken's Guide to Living With Breast Cancer.  If  Monique Doyle Spencer hadn't written this book, I know I would have.  Whether or not you are or have been affected by someone with breast cancer, you really need to read it!