C1D1

For those of you that may not know, that stands for cycle 1 day 1.  And now day 1 is in the books!  I rocked it!  Ok, well, to be totally honest, I did well...after I got through the blood work part.  
After checking in, I went back to have blood drawn through my port, my still very tender, sore, healing port.  The awesome nurse missed the port on the first try only because it was still so new.  I blame nothing on her.  She was nothing short of amazing.  Some of you reading this may not understand how I cannot blame her.  But I don't.  The pressure from her pushing on it was not fun.  It hurt.  Did I mention that this area is still healing so it's very sore still.  (Ok, I don't have chemo brain yet and I know I mentioned that.  Here's your warning, I will continue to mention how this area is still healing.)  She got it on the second try and was able to draw blood immediately.  And I immediately began to feel lightheaded.  Very, very, very lightheaded.  I tried to fight it off and tell myself that the feeling would pass.  Those thoughts lasted approximately 1 minute, if that.  I told her that I was going to pass out and asked for a cold, wet washcloth.  As I stated before, needles, blood, etc. do not bother me.  But because of the port area still healing and being sore (see, I told you I would mention it again), this was a traumatic event.  The nurse kept telling me to keep my eyes open.  Wow!  That was sooooo hard!  4 people were working diligently to keep me from passing out.  1 person was standing with Cole.  They put 2 cold, wet washcloths on me, fanned me, pulled my hair back, helped me strip down to my cami, and here's the best...I got to take part in a hockey player's favorite...smelling salts!  Wow!  I now understand why people make the faces they do when they sniff those things.  Holy cow!  It didn't take me too long to come around.  That staff is amazing!!!!  I owe them chocolate, or something even better when I go in next time.  
I met with my oncologist.  She went over all of my chemo and nausea medications.  The nausea typically doesn't set in till the day after and will most likely last for a few days.  I have to say that that is the part that I "fear" the most.  The part I dislike the most.  Therefore, I will do as she orders, cover don't chase.  I need to take those meds to prevent the nausea and not wait.  I'm one that will hold out and hope it goes away.  I won't with this.  I want to prevent, not treat this nausea.  She did an exam and measured the tumor (lymph node) under my right arm.  She will do this to keep track of the size of it as I go through treatment.  It did grow by about 2mm, but remember, I haven't had any treatment before today.  I'm confident that it's done growing now!  She asked me if I was ready to get started.  I smiled, really big, and said, "I'm so ready!"  I told her how I shocked a friend yesterday when they asked me about today.  I told this friend the same thing.  "I'm so ready!" I've been saying this and it's so true!  Dr. Lee looked at my husband and asked, "Is she always this positive?"  He was honest when he said, "Not always, but always with this."
I then went for my first treatment.  I was so ready!  Cole and I walked into our "own room" as opposed to a chair amongst many other chairs.  I believe this may be standard for first-timers.  I sat down and they asked me if I wanted a cupcake.  I'm not going to pass up a cupcake!  They then told me the most wonderful thing!  It was a patient's last day for chemo.  My heart was so happy for this lady!  I kept hoping that I would have the opportunity to speak with her.  About halfway through my treatment, this lady came over to my room and sat down with Cole and I.  It was the most amazing conversation.  I will never forget it.  She wasn't preachy. She was herself.  She shared stories as did I.  It was so special for me, and I hope the same for her, to have my first treatment on the same day and same time that she was receiving her last.  She also told me that on her first treatment day, she was in the same room as me and it was another patient's last treatment day.  Everything happens for a reason!!!  

Me during my first treatment...

In my awesome, new, PURPLE hoodie!  Thanks, Suzanne!

Me relaxing at home with my sidekick, our 2 year old puppy, Chance...

Covered in my awesome, new, homemade blanket!  Thanks, Jenn!

I'm feeling just okay tonight.  I'm very tired.  I admit that this took a toll on my body.  I knew in the back of my mind that it probably would, but wasn't willing to admit that until I felt it for sure.  Reread that again for those of you that know me well.  These are tough words to type.  I feel fortunate though as I know that if this were a few years ago, I would probably be hugging the toilet.  As my doctor told me, those days are over.  Thank you to those in the medical profession working to help everyone.  Not just me and people with cancer, but for everyone suffering with so many different diseases/illnesses.  

I'm hoping to make it to school tomorrow, but that will be a last minute decision.  Thursday is the day I really want to be in school.  My amazing friends have organized a special event for me, at my request.  Yes, I actually reached out and asked for help.  I am getting my head shaved after school.  It's a given that I will lose my hair.  I'm perfectly fine with that!  I have always dreamed of donating my hair to Locks of Love or Beautiful Lengths.  I want to do this before it starts falling out.  Thursday is the day!  I will definitely post pictures.

So many more thank yous to Cole's amazing family that surprised me on Sunday with a get-together.  I'm so happy that they were able to see me and know that I truly am determined and ready to kick this.  But I'm even more grateful that they were able to see Cole and know that he is doing well!  It was a great time!  I enjoyed chatting with his aunt who survived and beat breast cancer.  She passed on a bracelet to me that she wore while she was being treated.  I now wear that and will pay it forward as requested when I am done.  

And more thank yous to my amazing coworkers that surprised me with a ton of goodies Monday after school.  You are all more than amazing!  Please know how special and important to me you all are!  You make my heart so happy!  As we were sorting through everything, Cole asked me why I was crying.  I told him that it was hard.  He asked "What is hard?".  Hard because I was upset about everything going on?  Or hard because I was physically seeing things that represented how much and how many people care?  It was definitely the latter!  No question.  I can handle this disease and this treatment.  That part doesn't really make me cry anymore.  I am truly blessed!!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you all so very much!!!