Purple and a Pinky Promise

I write in purple for a few reasons.  Most people know it's my favorite color.  Purple roses were the first flowers Cole sent to me!  This began my love for purple.  The other reasons will be revealed later in this blog.

Here are my two newest heroes, Dr. Barton, my surgeon, and Dr. Lee, my oncologist.

Thursday, March 12, 2015:  I love my doctors and all facilities I have been to, but I was so happy to get through an entire day without a phone call from any doctors' offices!  Especially having student-led conferences this night from 4-8 PM!  Conferences went well, very well!  It was so great seeing all my students' families and having my students show their work and things we do in the classroom to their family.  Thanks to all who stopped by to wish me well!  It means more than you will ever know!  There are no words to describe how appreciative I am of all that take time to wish me well, give me a hug, send me a message, etc.  I think about these things and often reread messages.  My support system is amazing!!! 

Friday, March 13, 2015:  Friday the 13th!  Again!  I wasn't worried!  But I was a nervous wreck waiting to be called back to the procedure room.  We couldn't wait to get all of the results and to get the treatment plan.  I am so happy with the promptness of the staff and Dr. Barton!  The only reason Cole and I have to wait awhile in the waiting room is because we arrive so early.  For those that know me, go figure, right!?!  
We were taken back to the procedure room and Dr. Barton entered soon after the nurse was finished taking my vitals.  She explained about the 2 new spots near my clavicle that were found through the PET scan.  She did a biopsy right away on one of the spots.  She called me a "trooper" as she had to get a sample of the spot 3 times.  Again, this procedure didn't hurt or bother me in any way.  The numbness spread down my arm so it was actually quite amusing trying to use my limp arm to sign paperwork!  
She proceeded to inform us that the tiny spot on my right breast, the 1 cm, yes, 1 cm spot was the root cause of the cancer.  The cancer spread from this tiny spot to the breast tissue in my arm pit and to the areas near my clavicle.  This spot was never found on a mammogram, nor could it have been due to how small it was.  It was only discovered through the first MRI.  Finding this spot was a blessing because it helped Dr. Barton diagnose me, advanced stage 3 breast cancer, not just the mucinous carcinoma as she originally thought.  This is a mixed ductal mucinous carcinoma.  Still an uncommon form, but treatable.  Treatable with chemotherapy.  
By the way, Dr. Barton, and other doctors at the cancer conference found no connections with this cancer to the neck, shoulder, and arm pain I had/have.  There were no signs of it on any of the previous MRIs.  I still have a hard time believing that there is no connection.  I haven't closed this case yet.  But it's definitely on the back burner.
I met with my oncologist after Dr. Barton was finished.  Dr. Lee is just as phenomenal as Dr. Barton!  My "go to girl" Apryl sat with us through Dr. Lee's consultation.  She's absolutely amazing!  Everyone I have come in contact with has been absolutely amazing!  I cannot say enough good things about everyone!  Sooooo much information in just a short amount of time!  But Dr. Lee explained everything in simple terms from the port, to the chemo meds, to the side effects, to...everything.  
This brings me to the next purple thing!  They told me that I would get a purple bracelet to wear to show that I had a port.  Yay!  Purple!  Then I was shown a purple port so of course I was excited and asked if my port would be purple.  It's possible!  Yay!  But I'm happy with the purple bracelet even if my port won't be purple.  Just to clarify and for those that are unfamiliar with a port, it's a small device that will be inserted under my skin.  They will use this to inject the chemo and other meds as well as do blood work when needed.  
Here's a picture of the port they showed me and how it will be put in/look under my skin.  It will be placed near my collar bone on my left side.

It was a lot to take in this morning, but I honestly, easily held it together.  It's certainly not easy to go through all of this and I can absolutely understand how people break down and have such a hard time dealing with all of this.  I still have my "moments" and always will.  But I am so thankful for my positive attitude and ability to be able to handle this horrible situation so easily.  
There were only 2 times when I got teary-eyed today.  The first was when I talked about my students and my need to be in school as much as I possibly could throughout this whole process.  This made Apryl teary-eyed because she has a first grader.  The second time I teared up was when Dr. Lee told me that I had to reach out and ask for help.  It was the quietest I was all morning.  I don't know how to do this.  I fully admit that.  I have always told Cole that I am "Miss Independent".  He made me pinky promise on the way home that I would ask for help.  I tell my students that I never make a promise I can't keep.  For those of you reading this, I ask you to please remind me of this pinky promise.  It will be the hardest promise I have ever made.  
I told Dr. Lee that I went to school after the MRI-guided biopsy and was going to school after today's appointment.  She knew it was going to be hard for me to have to ask for help.  She said to Apryl, "We're gonna have a hard time with this one (me)."  Yeah, this whole "cancer" thing won't keep me down and yes, I am stubborn because I don't want or know how to ask for help.  Yes, they're going to have a hard time, I won't deny that.  But I promise it will be a fun, hard time!  
I didn't cry or tear up when she told me the side effects.  Not even when she said, "You will lose your hair."  I told her I would embrace baldness.  She then told me that the American Cancer Society gives a free wig to cancer patients.  Hmmmm...I'll look into it, but I'm still not thrilled about it.

Apryl took us on a tour of the facility so we knew where to go and what to expect when we arrive for my first treatment.  I admit, it was tough to see patients sitting in the waiting room and patients receiving their treatments knowing that I would be sitting in one of those chairs soon.  But I'm ready.  I'm sooooo ready to kick this.  

I will have my port put in on Thursday followed by an EKG (for safety measures - to be sure I have no existing heart issues) on Friday.  I knew there were a lot of "things" a cancer patient has to go through and those "things" differ by patient and type of cancer.  But until you know someone personally and they share everything they go through with you or you experience it yourself, you have no idea exactly everything they go through.  I've realized how little I knew.

We are more at peace knowing the diagnosis and treatment plan.  I will begin my first round of chemo on Tuesday, March 24...every other week...for 4 months.  Surgery may follow after chemo is completed.  If I stay on schedule with no delays/extensions, my last round will occur shortly after my birthday.  I'm ready to celebrate!