Thank you all once again for all of your kind words, thoughts, prayers, and love!!! Thank you to all that reached out to me sharing your stories. Thanks to all of Cole's coworkers for understanding the situation he is in and for supporting him. Thanks to my friends and family for everything, but especially for the encouragement and smiles when you see me.
I believe Old Man Winter knew I wasn't going to be able to spend much time in school with my students the week of March 2. I was actually grateful for the 3 two hour delays and early dismissal. Not so happy about the day off.
Thursday, March 5, 2015: I was so excited to get up in the morning and go to school for the first time that week! My phone rang at 5:16 AM and I knew I was going to be upset when I heard "Good morning. This is Richard W. Fry, superintendent of the the Big Spring School District. Today is Thursday, March 5. Due to the..." I hung up. I then saw the text from abc27 showing our district was closed. I was super bummed! I love dress down days, but I was so excited to wear dress clothes and to go to school for the first time that week.
I have a greater appreciation for those that are diabetic. I was not permitted to have sugar or carbs this entire day. Temptation lurked everywhere in our home. Being at school would have certainly helped. The shakes and weakness set in by late afternoon and were still present when I awoke the next morning.
Friday, March 6, 2015: I scheduled a full day off, but I was determined to get through my PET scan and get to school by lunch.
I arrived at Tristan in Harrisburg around 7:15 and the technician took me to another room for the nuclear medicine injection soon after I arrived. Cole was able to go with me for this, but had to leave when I was ordered to sit in a recliner...with my feet up (so I wasn't tempted to rock)...in a dark room...by myself...with nothing to do...for 45 minutes!! Sounds like a dream for most people, right? But if you know me, I can't sit still for 10 minutes! It was nearly torture for me to sit still for that long. I was so relieved when Randy, my technician, came to get me for the scan.
I left Tristan knowing nothing. This was the scan I feared most. Not the scan itself, but the results. It was Friday and I knew it was going to be a long weekend.
On a good note, I met my goal! I teared up when I pulled into the parking lot. I walked into school around 11:30 right before my class went to lunch. It felt so great to be back in school! The kids were so surprised, yet extremely happy to see me!
Monday, March 9, 2015: I was finally back in school for a full day!
I waited most of the day for a phone call from someone to give me results from my PET scan. I couldn't wait any longer. I called Apryl at 1:58 that afternoon and unfortunately, I had to leave a message. I asked for confirmation of my MRI biopsy scheduled for Tuesday and results of my PET scan. She called back and left a message giving my information of my MRI only. Not one word about my scan. I panicked. I called her back immediately and had to leave another message. She called me back after 3:00 and she could not give me any information about the scan. She simply told me that when I met with Dr. Barton on Friday she would go over all of my tests results, the PET scan included. My heart dropped and another "moment" quickly set in, the tears rolling down my face. I just knew that when she couldn't give me any information and she said that Dr. Barton would talk with me about all of the results, it wasn't going to be good news. Apryl said "OK?" I said, "No, it's not ok and I'm not going to make it to Friday. I need to know something, good or bad, and I need to know now. I'm not ok leaving this conversation this way." Dr. Barton called me back and told me that the PET scan revealed "2 more spots - 1 above and 1 below my clavicle". With the tumor in the breast tissue in my armpit, the spot on my right breast (which at this time was unknown if that was cancerous or not), and now these 2 spots, she diagnosed me with stage 3 breast cancer. I was devastated. I also felt relief because it could have been worse. It wasn't in my lungs, or my ovaries, or my colon, or my... It could always be worse!
As I spoke with Dr. Barton, she informed me that she is no longer thinking that surgery is the treatment plan. She's leaning toward chemo but will have that confirmed, or not, during the cancer conference on Wednesday. Monday night was a rough night. Many moments. Not much sleep.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015: Another day, another procedure. I was given some information from a friend about how this MRI biopsy would go. It did not sound pleasant. But, it had to be done and I was ready for whatever it was. Thank goodness needles do not bother me!
I followed the technician, Laurie, my newest friend in this process, down the long hallway to a waiting room. Another technician (I feel so bad that I don't remember her name - I'm trying so hard to remember everyone's name on this journey because everyone has been nothing short of wonderful!) came in to give me my IV needle, the fourth one in a week and a half, for the contrast to be injected into during the MRI. Laurie talked me through the entire process and then Dr. H came in and talked me through the entire process again. Shortly thereafter, I laid face down on the table for the MRI to begin. For those familiar with this process, I will give you the compressed version of the story - and yes, that's a play on words! I was compressed alright! But just the right one!
I will spare the details of this procedure as some of you may not be able to handle me telling you where they numbed me, where the needle was put in (twice), and from where they took the biopsy. But honestly, it didn't hurt. I truly only felt that little pinch from the needle to numb me. I can tell you that after having a procedure like this done, only then do you realize how many bumps are in the roads, literally!
During this procedure, Laurie asked me what I was going to do the rest of the day. I teared up when I told her all I wanted to do was go to school. She asked what I did at school and was very intrigued when I told her I was a first grade teacher. I cried when I told her how much I missed my students.
3 hours after going back that hallway, I walked out to the waiting room where Cole was waiting for me. The doctor told me that someone would most likely call me the next day with the results. This was one of a few times that I thought negatively. I was convinced that this biopsy would also test positive for cancer. Time would soon tell.
I met another goal! I surprised many people when I walked into school. My students were surprised to see me again when I met them at the cafeteria after lunch. I love seeing their faces light up! My student teacher was at a job fair on this day so I got to teach that afternoon. I cannot even begin to describe how great it felt to be back in front of them in my classroom!!!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015: I was back in school for another full day! What a great feeling! The day was going well and then my phone rang. It was a doctor giving me the results from my biopsy. More bad news. It tested positive for cancer. Fortunately, I was prepared for this news. My world didn't come crashing down as hard as it had before. I still cried. I spent the next 45 minutes in a small room with a dear friend just talking about it all. I told her that for the first time since this all started, I felt angry at the whole situation. How dare this "stuff" invade my body!?! It's just another emotion that you go through on this ride.
Many people know about the shoulder, neck, and arm pain that I have had for the past 3 and a half years or so. With this diagnosis, the location of the cancer, and the information I'm given, I see a huge connection to this pain and the cancer. The size of the tumor in my armpit indicates that it has been growing for quite some time. With this being said, I have gathered all doctors' reports and films, including 3 MRIs from Walnut Bottom Radiology which will never receive my business again. I'm spreading the word about their misreadings as I do not wish for anyone to have to go through what I am going through. I didn't spread the word about how awful my "doctor" (using this word loosely as he does not deserve that title for the way he treated my family and myself, his patient) was at John's Hopkins and I will not make that mistake again. Dr. Barton told me that my mammograms and sonograms from Walnut Bottom Radiology were recorded as normal. Because this was the information Dr. Barton received, I was not a patient that needed to be seen immediately. Had the results shown abnormalities, I would have been seen sooner. As soon as Dr. Barton did the sonogram during my first visit, she said, "Your results from Walnut Bottom all said that this is normal. What I see is very abnormal." Dr. Barton is reviewing my past medical records and MRIs. I pray that nothing shows up on those MRIs that I had done over the past couple of years. But if it does...
I now anxiously await for Friday at 8:00. That's when I meet with my surgeon, Dr. Barton, to find out all of the test results, have another biopsy or 2 (the spots near my clavicle), and learn about my treatment plan. I'm nervous as hell, but anxious as can be. I look forward to the journey of the royal ass-kicking!
I followed the technician, Laurie, my newest friend in this process, down the long hallway to a waiting room. Another technician (I feel so bad that I don't remember her name - I'm trying so hard to remember everyone's name on this journey because everyone has been nothing short of wonderful!) came in to give me my IV needle, the fourth one in a week and a half, for the contrast to be injected into during the MRI. Laurie talked me through the entire process and then Dr. H came in and talked me through the entire process again. Shortly thereafter, I laid face down on the table for the MRI to begin. For those familiar with this process, I will give you the compressed version of the story - and yes, that's a play on words! I was compressed alright! But just the right one!
I will spare the details of this procedure as some of you may not be able to handle me telling you where they numbed me, where the needle was put in (twice), and from where they took the biopsy. But honestly, it didn't hurt. I truly only felt that little pinch from the needle to numb me. I can tell you that after having a procedure like this done, only then do you realize how many bumps are in the roads, literally!
During this procedure, Laurie asked me what I was going to do the rest of the day. I teared up when I told her all I wanted to do was go to school. She asked what I did at school and was very intrigued when I told her I was a first grade teacher. I cried when I told her how much I missed my students.
3 hours after going back that hallway, I walked out to the waiting room where Cole was waiting for me. The doctor told me that someone would most likely call me the next day with the results. This was one of a few times that I thought negatively. I was convinced that this biopsy would also test positive for cancer. Time would soon tell.
I met another goal! I surprised many people when I walked into school. My students were surprised to see me again when I met them at the cafeteria after lunch. I love seeing their faces light up! My student teacher was at a job fair on this day so I got to teach that afternoon. I cannot even begin to describe how great it felt to be back in front of them in my classroom!!!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015: I was back in school for another full day! What a great feeling! The day was going well and then my phone rang. It was a doctor giving me the results from my biopsy. More bad news. It tested positive for cancer. Fortunately, I was prepared for this news. My world didn't come crashing down as hard as it had before. I still cried. I spent the next 45 minutes in a small room with a dear friend just talking about it all. I told her that for the first time since this all started, I felt angry at the whole situation. How dare this "stuff" invade my body!?! It's just another emotion that you go through on this ride.
Many people know about the shoulder, neck, and arm pain that I have had for the past 3 and a half years or so. With this diagnosis, the location of the cancer, and the information I'm given, I see a huge connection to this pain and the cancer. The size of the tumor in my armpit indicates that it has been growing for quite some time. With this being said, I have gathered all doctors' reports and films, including 3 MRIs from Walnut Bottom Radiology which will never receive my business again. I'm spreading the word about their misreadings as I do not wish for anyone to have to go through what I am going through. I didn't spread the word about how awful my "doctor" (using this word loosely as he does not deserve that title for the way he treated my family and myself, his patient) was at John's Hopkins and I will not make that mistake again. Dr. Barton told me that my mammograms and sonograms from Walnut Bottom Radiology were recorded as normal. Because this was the information Dr. Barton received, I was not a patient that needed to be seen immediately. Had the results shown abnormalities, I would have been seen sooner. As soon as Dr. Barton did the sonogram during my first visit, she said, "Your results from Walnut Bottom all said that this is normal. What I see is very abnormal." Dr. Barton is reviewing my past medical records and MRIs. I pray that nothing shows up on those MRIs that I had done over the past couple of years. But if it does...
I now anxiously await for Friday at 8:00. That's when I meet with my surgeon, Dr. Barton, to find out all of the test results, have another biopsy or 2 (the spots near my clavicle), and learn about my treatment plan. I'm nervous as hell, but anxious as can be. I look forward to the journey of the royal ass-kicking!
xoxoxoxo
ReplyDelete